Monday, March 8, 2010

SHARE please

I will admit that I can be one of those pushy New Yorkers while commuting, especially when my path is obstructed by an oblivious, camera-doting tourist. However, I feel as though my rudeness can be excused for I am not charging into innocent bystanders just for sheer enjoyment, but rather because I am generally late for everything. And I don't mean a few minutes late. I mean LATE. Like running through the airport because my flight is about to take off late. And besides, tourists should know better than to stand in the middle of 5th Avenue and try to take a photograph at 830AM on a Tuesday. I mean, how completely absent minded can you be?

But I digress. The purpose of my mentioning this pushiness I have acquired is solely to juxtapose it with my politeness which appears whenever I am on the subway. In fact, I think I am an exemplary MTA user when it comes to common courtesy. For example, I always allow for everyone to exit the train before I enter. I always make myself as compact and uncomfortable as possible so as to provide more space for another person to squeeze inside. And, if the situation ever presented itself, I am sure I would give up my seat for a pregnant woman (Of course that all depends on whether or not I sit down in the first place, and, per an earlier post, I tend to have anxiety when choosing a seat to sit in, so much of the time I stand- but! the point is that if I were sitting, I would give up my seat). Also, I enjoy entertaining babies on the train such as smiling at them and waving and attempting to distract them so they don't cry. I feel as though many mothers appreciate this small gesture. And finally, I always share my subway pole with a fellow rider. It's this last act of kindness which I deem the most important one. For, when this courtesy is not returned, and instead, the guilty party wraps an arm around the pole, or leans against it, thereby preventing even one other person from grabbing it, I find that my entire subway experience is ruined.

Let me set the scene: You step onto the subway car. All poles are occupied by several passengers except one lone pole. As you walk toward this vacant pole, a body, coming out of nowhere, cuts in front of you and blocks any access to the pole. Who is this selfish person? Generally a 20 something year old girl who is absorbed in her blackberry and must envelop the pole in such a way so that both hands are free to furiously press away at those tiny buttons. And even if you do attempt to grab the commandeered pole, and "accidentally" nudge her body with your grip, or simply stand there glaring at her with a sour expression, she still will not notice, and thus, will not alter her unaccommodating position.

When I first encountered this scenario, I attempted to dispel my anger. I thought to myself, maybe this girl just heard terrible news, like her dry cleaners burned down with her dry cleaning in it (this happened to me) and is simply too upset by the monetary and material loss to realize that she is not sharing the pole. However, as these pole hoggers began popping up more and more, I became skeptical. How could it be that so many dry cleaners were burning down?

This pole dictatorship is a problem with no solution. Even if I were to become the most pleasant city dweller, who, instead of shoving the tourists out of the way, offered to take their photograph instead, (all of this in an attempt to pay it forward so that others would do the same and eventually nobody would ever usurp the subway poles again) iI will still find myself on a train, unable to find a pole to support myself because some oblivious and ignorant 20 something year old is too focussed on her blackberry. It is simply infuriating!!!

So in conclusion, there is no point to being nice to anyone.

Actually I am just kidding. I am striving to be nicer and more patient at all times. Unless the other person happens to be one of these pole hoggers, in which case, I will resort to treating that person like a tourist. After all, karma is sort of a bitch right?